Amarillo Nights presents BrassTacks - February 2003 by Max Steele

It was John Cleese in the movie "Fierce Creatures" that summed it up best. Cleese plays the director of a zoo, owned by Rod McCain, CEO of Octopus Inc.
Cleese says, in reference to his employer:
"I think the whole Octopus philosophy is POISON! The only aim of any and every McCain business is to downsize and halve the quality…… to make enough money to acquire another business to downsize and halve the quality, to make enough money to acquire another business to downsize et cetera et cetera, without ever running a single one of them really well.
"And if anyone ever raises the question of quality, they´re immediately attacked as an elitist, because at Octopus it´s considered morally offensive to talk about anything but money.
"All so that Mr. Rod McCain can feel a little more powerful every day. That´s why, instead of running this wonderful zoo properly….. we have to spoil it…. in order to finance his next mindless acquisition!"
Wow. And you thought Monty Python was all Cleese did well.
There is a scary movement that has been taking over America and YES MY FRIENDS it has nested in Amarillo as well. Let´s all say it together……
"BIG BUSINESS SUCKS!"
Why? Because once most businesses get too big, they all make the same mistake: They don´t give a crap about the customers! They fail to remember the time when they were a small business, that the customer is what made them what they were. They fail to remember that the customers STILL pay the bills! Unfortunately, a lot of big business´s customers are sheep…… they fail to realize what Big Business is doing to them, and they continue to give Big Business their money. HARD EARNED MONEY DAMMIT!
Some of these sheep DO see what is happening, yet they continue to bend over and take it; they don´t think they have a choice. The sheep need to wise up.

My friend Rick Roop is an ass. He taught me the best business lesson in the world, from both sides. The lesson is simple….. if you are a consumer and you are not satisfied, don´t take it. Be an ass.
The other side of Rick´s lesson is just as simple…. If you are the business, the customer is ALWAYS right! Kiss that ass because it pays your check. As a consumer, I can be an ass. As a business man, I can kiss it.

Now I may be mad as hell, but I´m not going to be childish and immature and name names….. well, okay yes I am. I am going to name the names of 3 Amarillo Big Businesses that really get under my skin. However, just so that this isn´t taken as slander, I want to say right now….. I AM NOT BOYCOTTING ANY OF THESE BUSINESSES NOR DO I WANT YOU TO NOT GIVE THEM YOUR BUSINESS. All I am saying is if you DO give the following businesses your money, remind them that they got where they are because of people like you. If they don´t care after that…… well, you´re a big boy or girl; you figure it out. Be an ass if you have to. If the person you are dealing with doesn´t make you happy, ask for someone higher. If that person doesn´t make you happy, ask for someone higher. Know this now…. EVERYONE has a boss. Even the top person of a big business has a boss. And believe it or not, that boss is YOU!
If all else fails and I still get in trouble, hopefully I´ll be safe with "Freedom Of The Press Baby"!
(In business terms this is called CYA)

Wal-Mart

Though Wal-Mart isn´t exactly a "local" Big Business, I still thought it warranted mention.
Where to begin? This company went to hell with the death of Sam Walton, and the birth of the Super-center.
The people that run Wal-Mart care about two things: Making money, and looking good while doing it.
Ever wonder why they have 50 checkout stands and only 2 are open? Because it cost MONEY to have enough people to smoothly run the checkouts. They don´t want to spend money, just make it.
Ever notice that NOTHING in the store has a price on it? That´s because it takes money to buy pricing guns, pricing tape, and employees to operate said pricing guns with said pricing tape. Instead, let´s spend a small fortune on an elaborate laser-scanning system! It´s a one-time only fee and it will surely make things easier on the customers, right? I´m stubborn. If something doesn´t have a price on it, I feel like they don´t want to sell it. Not to mention, if you are lucky and find an associate (what they call an employee) and you ask them how much something costs, they all say the same thing:
"There´s a scanner in ‘Sporting Goods´".
Sometimes I think that if I were to die and not make it into Heaven, the alternative would be Wal-Mart. There I would have to stand in line at the checkout stand behind other sinners for an eternity. One day I might get to the checkout counter, but then that flashing number over the register would come on……. Back into another line for another eternity. Meanwhile, Hell-Mart saves a buck or two on labor.
Great for them!

Toot N Totem

Man I miss Slurpees and Big Gulps and Chipwichs! Once upon a time, Toot N Totem was a great little venture. They were competitive and courteous back in the days of 7 Eleven and Circle K. Now they think they are the only game in town. A lot of their stores operate as if to say, "We can treat you how we want because…. Where else are ya gonna go?"
Their 24-hour stores aren´t always open 24 hours because the graveyard guy ALWAYS calls in sick. Back in the day, I managed a Taylor Mart here in Amarillo. If my graveyard guy didn´t show up guess what? I WORKED THE SHIFT! It was my responsibility even if it meant I had to work a double. But we can´t let the Manager or anyone else run the graveyard shift now, because he or she might get OVERTIME! Oh no!
As a consumer I can honestly say that inconsistency is the best way to insure that a convenience store isn´t convenient.
Then there´s the gouging. If the smaller "Discount" stores can offer cheap prices, why can´t Toot N Totem? You guys USED to offer cheap prices.
Oh wait…. The Toot N Totem locations NEXT to other discount stores offer these cheap prices…… Like I said my friends, gouging.
To make matters worse, they have aligned themselves with Mr. Payroll. My problem there has to do with their sign. It claims that Mr. Payroll will cash ANY check. Nope. Try to cash a handwritten check from your employer….. not a personal check mind you, but a hand-written PAYROLL check after 5:00 p.m. I dare you.
Unless you are a regular customer or the banks are open, you are S.O.L.
Change your stupid sign Mr. Payroll!
If I were you Toot N Totem, I would thank my lucky stars that Sam´s Quikway, TNT Discount, WW Discount, and all the rest don´t stay open late. If that happened, you might have to re-evaluate your Big Business practices.

Hastings

Hastings actually DOES have some good business practices. One of their best ideas is the clock over the registers. If you wait in line too long, you get something free. Now WHAT you get for free, I can´t remember because I got fed up with them months ago. Try to find a video in there, I dare you. Honestly, there is no rhyme or reason to it. It´s as if the Hasting’s people just THROW the tapes on the shelves.
Let´s assume we are trying to find the movie "Field Of Dreams". What would that be? Drama? Comedy? After you have looked for your movie in every category, your next action is to look it up on the little computer. Next, you spend 20 minutes pounding your finger on the screen ‘til it´s numb, only to type "Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"
Eventually you give up and ask the video representative. He types "Field Of Dreams" into his computer and it shows that 2 copies are available to rent. Great. He then tells you that the movie should be in Drama. You tell him it´s not. After a sigh, he takes you to the Drama section only to discover that it´s not there. In the spots where the 2 copies SHOULD be are copies of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Dumb And Dumber".
"Well," he´ll say with a shrug, "They should be in here somewhere". Then he goes off to clean your disgruntled finger smudges off of the computer screen.
This is also one of the few stores I can think of that actually rushes you out of the store when it´s closing time. By no means are they going to work past 11:00, no matter how much money you want to spend.
Happy Trails, consumers!
By the way, "Field Of Dreams" resides in the "Sony Playstation" category for some reason.

In closing, Big Business mentality can ruin just about anything. It ruins the medical profession, government, religion, professional sports, media….. (AOL certainly sucks) ANYTHING! Now if you guys will excuse me I just received a fax stating that I have a meeting with the Amarillo Nights "powers that be" regarding my "sassing" of potential clients.
That and I´m pushing overtime..

See you guys next month!